Mysidia Adoptables Support Forum  

Home Community Mys-Script Creative Off-Topic
Go Back   Mysidia Adoptables Support Forum > Creative Discussion > Fanfics and Free Writing

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-27-2011, 12:49 PM
Knyfe's Avatar
Knyfe Knyfe is offline
Things are looking harder
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MA, United States (That's one reason why I love this site XD)
Posts: 48
Gender: Female
Credits: 2,234
Knyfe is on a distinguished road
Default YPPDRHT

I'm *trying* to write a novel, and this is the first chapter. Please don't claim it as your own.
It's kind of long. You might need to print it out if reading on the computer hurts your eyes.

The title is epically lame. I just posted the initials of the main characters because I have no idea what to call it yet. O.e
The main characters are: Yellow, Primrose, Petal, Dawn, Rushberry, Honey, Truffle and Charidy. So far only Yellow, Primrose and Petal are in it, and more characters might be added soon.

If I get as far as chapter five, I won't post beyond that.
Anyway, here it is:

Primrose nudged the sleeping cat beside her, mewling softly.
"Yellow! Yellow, wake up! Come on. . . ." Yellow snored on, mumbling something about food.
"Get up, you lazy fleabag! You needn't worry about food; you're growing chubbier by the hour! Now GET UP!" Sighing with impatience, Primrose decided to use the last resort and surefire way to startle Yellow out of Dreamland. She lightly nipped Yellow's unusually large ears and jumped back quickly, knowing perfectly well what to expect.
Yellow woke with a yowl. "OW!" She screeched, glaring angrily at Primrose. "I told you never to do that!"
"You wouldn't wake up! Now come on, let's go outside while we can. You know the house-folk are removing the cat-flap in a seven-night."
"You said that seven nights ago!"
"This time I mean it!"
Yellow hissed, but she knew it was no use trying to change the mind of her stubborn sister. "Fine," she reluctantly agreed. "After breakfast."
"Sure." Primrose's bristling fur flattened. "But I'm full. Don't take too long."
"By the time the sun moves a whisker-length you'll be taking that back." Yellow began to trudge out of the room and down the stairs to her food and water dishes. Her usual meal of 9Lives Super Supper was gone, replaced by bitter, tasteless kibble. Yellow crunched it noisily and devoured it in minutes, but it barely took the edge off her hunger. Ahh, well, thought Yellow. We'll be coming in sometime soon anyway. Primrose can't stand skipping breakfast. Not that there's any here. She padded silently over to the cat-flap where Primrose sat waiting. They disappeared into the cool, fresh air of morning.
Birds stopped twittering upon their arrival. The grass was wet with dew and pricked at the tender paws of Primrose and Yellow. They blinked in the sudden light; Primrose's dark gray stripes appeared blue in the brightness; they looked stunning against her silvery fur. Her blue eyes glistened excitedly.
Something rustled in the bushes. Yellow sniffed the air and snarled slightly. She barely caught a glimpse of an almost pink pelt that flashed by in the undergrowth and stepped delicately into the clearing.
"Who are you?" asked the strange cat. Her eyes were gleaming sapphires, and her fur waas such a pale orange it was nearly the color of a flamingo. "My name is Petal. I live next door, but I won't be for long. My house-folk are moving away, and I can tell I won't be coming with them." Petal obviously wasn't upset at what would make most any other cat cry.
Primrose was slightly shocked at Petal's boldness, but quickly regained her composure. "I'm Primrose, and this is Yellow," she said, gesturing to her sister.
"Cool," replied Petal, as if she didn't care. "And you live here?"
"I guess." Primrose and Yellow shared a look. "But you couldn't call it a home, if you know what I mean."
"Oh," said Petal. She shifted uncomfortably. "Well . . . if--if it isn't too much to ask, I was wondering . . ." she trailed off, at a loss for words.
"What?" demanded Primrose. "What is it?"
"Well . . . if I won't have a home on a few moons, and you don't feel like you have a home, then maybe we could . . . ? I mean, I just we just met, but I thought maybe . . . ."
"Maybe what?" asked Primrose, but her question died in the air.
"It's a possibility." Yellow broke the silence, speaking for both her and her sister.
"Everything's a possibility," Petal scoffed, forgetting her nervous mood. "Take a seven-night to think it through. My garden," she said, gesturing with her tail, "is over there, a few houses away in the direction where the sun sets. Tell me your decision when you're sure." She took a few seconds to stare a challenge at Yellow and Primrose. "It's both of you or neither of you, and you won't be able to change your minds. It's a big decision, and if you don't go, I will." A slight sadness shadowed her gaze. "I have to."

THE END! Of the first chapter, anyway. I never knew four pages of writing looked like so little online. . . .
Please comment, so I know how people like my work!

Last edited by Knyfe; 02-09-2011 at 10:21 AM. Reason: Added new character
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-27-2011, 01:51 PM
Hall of Famer's Avatar
Hall of Famer Hall of Famer is offline
Administrator, Lead Coder
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Somerville
Posts: 4,388
Gender: Male
Credits: 121,002
Hall of Famer is on a distinguished road
Default

This sounds rather interesting, cant wait for the subsequent chapters. I dont see how it hurts eyes for reading online, it may depend on the readers.

Hall of Famer
__________________


Mysidia Adoptables, a free and ever-improving script for aspiring adoptables/pets site.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-27-2011, 02:04 PM
Knyfe's Avatar
Knyfe Knyfe is offline
Things are looking harder
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MA, United States (That's one reason why I love this site XD)
Posts: 48
Gender: Female
Credits: 2,234
Knyfe is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks! I don't write every night; in fact not very often at all. This took me a few months and it's not that long OR good. But I revise everything like ten times, adding and deleting things, and in the end my work is pretty decent. Change is everything!
Once I read two chapters online and by the end my eyes were killing me, but yeah it really depends on the people reading.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-27-2011, 02:06 PM
Hall of Famer's Avatar
Hall of Famer Hall of Famer is offline
Administrator, Lead Coder
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Somerville
Posts: 4,388
Gender: Male
Credits: 121,002
Hall of Famer is on a distinguished road
Default

Sounds like you are a perfectionist? XD And sure why not? Its much better to write one excellent article than 10 mediocre ones. Its a good habit to go back and revise at times.
__________________


Mysidia Adoptables, a free and ever-improving script for aspiring adoptables/pets site.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-27-2011, 02:11 PM
Knyfe's Avatar
Knyfe Knyfe is offline
Things are looking harder
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MA, United States (That's one reason why I love this site XD)
Posts: 48
Gender: Female
Credits: 2,234
Knyfe is on a distinguished road
Default

XD Yeah, I'm a total perfectionist. It also takes me a while because I quit writing one story and start writing another, and another, and another, until eventually I realize the first one was best. Then I start writing another, and so on. Oh well.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:06 PM.

Currently Active Users: 227 (0 members and 227 guests)
Threads: 3,924, Posts: 31,297, Members: 15,490
Welcome to our newest members, PaulVigil.
BER





What's New?

What's Hot?

What's Popular?


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
vBCommerce I v2.0.0 Gold ©2010, PixelFX Studios
vBCredits I v2.0.0 Gold ©2010, PixelFX Studios
Emoticons by darkmoon3636